Are You Ready for a New Relationship
Posted: Thursday, May 14, 2009
by Marcia Chumbley
Faithful Grannies
One of the greatest mistakes that people commonly make is jumping into a new relationship before they have healed from the old one. Rebound relationships are common, but they aren't healthy. When a relationship ends, there is a great deal of emotional pain, stress, and upheaval that must be dealt with. If it isn't, a person will bring those feelings and emotions into the new relationship, and project them onto their new partner. It is common to enter a new, rebound relationship and treat your new partner as if he or she were your ex.
When a relationship ends, and a person is in a lot of pain, you might find that speaking with a counselor is a wise idea. This is especially true if you have just endured a divorce or the breakup of a long term relationship. If you have been a victim in a relationship such as through domestic abuse or if your partner committed adultery, then seeking counseling is vitally important to your self esteem.
One of the greatest consequences that occur after a relationship ends is that the other person suffers a period of low self-esteem. Trying to make this by entering into a new relationship does very little to address the underlying problem. What often occurs is that at some point in the new relationship, old feelings that have yet to be dealt with surface, and many of the same problems are experienced. The best way to prevent these kinds of problems is to take as much time that is needed to devote to yourself. By spending quality time engaging in activities that you find interesting, you can enjoy being by yourself while you heal your emotional wounds.
Though it might seem as the best thing that you can do is start over and have someone to love, this isn't the best road to choose. It might seem that it makes sense at first. After all, a new relationship will take your mind off of your pain, and engaging in activities with another person keeps your mind occupied and is an enjoyable pastime. However, there is no way to deny that time for yourself is important, and grieving is a natural process that you will go through. If you don't give yourself adequate time to heal, those emotions will remain bottled up inside you. By dealing with your feelings and paying attention to yourself, you'll be healthier, stronger, and wiser. Only then will you be truly ready for a new relationship.
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)Great things to get you to think about. Take time for yourself first to make a better you.
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